do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
