He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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