He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
