I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
