we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
