I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
