I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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