You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
