Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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