Me too!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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