Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
