Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
