You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize