I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She told me I should be a condom model.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
