so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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