1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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