their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
