You smell like stripper and shame
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
