break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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