epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
