you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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