i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
