Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
