god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
