so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
