I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
