It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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