you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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