I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
