Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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