either way he was missing a nipple.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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