My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
