Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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