i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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