Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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