what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sext me about skeletons
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
