I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Welp...herpes.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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