Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
