I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
