The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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