So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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