Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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