Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
