my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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