wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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