I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
