i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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