hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
