So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
