covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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